Random Reflections

It's another ordinary lazy Sunday afternoon. Dave is serenading us with his delightful piano music. I'm pulling Audrey off the counter for the "um-teenth" time today and the smell of the cinnamon brown sugar cereal she was munching on sent my mind on a journey. The scent was strikingly similar to a Halloween candle I have stashed in my garage.
I started to think about the upcoming holiday and Sam's nearing birthday. I thought about how this Halloween will be spent watching Dave's brother, Dan, and his soon to be wife, Cori, (who we adore) getting married. I think about all the holidays I didn't celebrate that year, when I was 18, that I studied with the Jehovah's Witnesses in my attempt to find God. I think about that summer night before my senior year of high school, when I was driving back from Seaside with my old boyfriend and our car went off a 25 foot embankment and flipped several times before slamming into a tree; how tired I was, just wanting to catch my breath, unaware of the danger, when he pulled me out of his burning car. The police told us that someone had died in almost that same spot a few weeks earlier, and that we shouldn't be alive. Whenever I wonder what my purpose is on this big planet, I remember that HE preserved my life for a reason.
I think about one of my favorite blogs, NieNie Dialogues, and how she nearly died in that fiery plane crash with her husband last year; how she was in a coma for months afterward, and how a year later, she showed such courage when she revealed how the burns have completely changed her appearance. Her inner beauty is so overwhelming that it radiates right through her external appearance; she is still beautiful. I think about the scars on Audrey's hands from her burns last New Years Eve, how comforting it was to read NieNie's blog as I was struggling to deal with our own daughters burns and eventual skin grafts. I felt like although people were so thoughtful of us, no one else really understood how difficult it was to go through. It helped me to know that even though we didn't fully understand what Stephanie had gone through, and although we've never met, she understood what we were going through. Her life has been a pillar of strength for me.
I think about how that resembles my relationship with our Savior. We can never fully comprehend all that he suffered for us, but we can feel comfort knowing that he understands what we are going through because he suffered through all of it too.
I think about a friend who spoke in church today, who lost her seemingly healthy 6 week old baby a few months ago. Their faith has astounded me. I know that she KNOWS she'll see her daughter again and that it is her driving force to be the best she can so that she will have that opportunity someday. I think about how terrified I am to endure a loss so deep, seeing how difficult it was just to watch Audrey suffer from her burns.
I think about how blessed my life is. What a great husband I have. He has always been so patient and good to me. He is the eternal optimist, and always helps me see the bright side of life. He has more honesty and integrity than anyone I've ever met. He genuinely tries to be the best he can, even when no one is watching. He is good to the very depth of his soul. I attribute much of this to the great example his parents, especially his mother, set for him. I think of how much Audrey adores him, like no one else in this world. She was cuddling him for quite a while after her nap today, and Dave relished all the attention. She has him wrapped around her little finger.
I think about what a sweet family I have, and how blessed I am to be a part of their lives. And most of all, I think about how this sometimes seemingly monotonous life is anything but that. That all the little things I stress over everyday are so insignificant in the whole scheme of things; that all that really matters in this life are family, God, and love.